Will a Doula Try to Replace My Partner?

Many partners, and mothers-to-be as well, are concerned that a doula will be a “third wheel” or will exclude the partner from sharing in the birth. When you talk to parents who have had a doula present for their birth, though, the opposite usually turns out to be the case. A good doula always remembers that this birth is the parents’ experience, not hers. She is there to support your wishes and help the two of you to maintain your physical and emotional resources to share the birth together.

If one of you feels reluctant about having a doula, talk about it together. Be honest about what’s bothering you. If your partner wants to be the one you rely on the most, they may feel that if you want a doula, it must mean you don’t think they will do a good job supporting you. Usually that’s not at all true, but it helps to talk it through. Many partners actually find they are more actively involved in the birth when an experienced professional supporter is present.

Posted in: Sacred Work Doula FAQ’s